It’s not grey hair that makes you old

26 February 2016 | Category: Interesting facts, The incomparable Fellert humor, Restaurants, lounges & clubs, Great Sound

All my life I’ve heard the expression “old and grey”, so imagine my surprise when instead of going grey, I lost most of my hair in my early thirties.

But me old? No, definitely not.

Because you’re not old just because you’ve stopped sleeping in tents at rock festivals. The Hilton is almost walking distance from the festival grounds, and at the hotel bar, you can always get your Jack and Coke. Definitely rock ‘n’ roll, the way I see it.

And those pricey seats up front are there to give you the best view. This has nothing to do with age.

Earplugs, someone says. That’s just for old folks. Nonsense I say, because you don’t want to be hard of hearing when you get old, should that ever happen.

And as far as noise goes, there is no doubt in my mind that food and drink taste much better when you can dine in a tranquil environment, compared to sitting in a noisy and boisterous bar.

Fellert, Ze Kitchen Galerie

Fellert, Ze Kitchen Galerie

Okay, I’ll have to admit it – I’m getting old.

But old or not, I’m fascinated by the restaurant, bar and nightclub industry and their take on working environments and noise. After all, in which other workplaces would we accept such a high noise level for such an extended period?

Because of my interest, I’ve looked into this and found that it’s a common belief in the trade that it should be noisy to increase guest turnover. And that this consequently drives up profits since guests consume more at the beginning of a seating than towards the end.

Sounds logical, doesn’t it? But in my mind it doesn’t really make sense. Along with many other old-timers, I appreciate good wines that are often priced at a level that would send any student to the ER with alcohol poisoning if he or she attempted to guzzle beer for the same amount of money. And then we haven’t even touched on dinner, because we old guys aren’t happy with anything less than three courses.

Okay you say, bars–kids–noisy. Five-star establishments–old folks–quiet as the moon.

Sure, you have a point, but what about the majority of restaurants that are somewhere between these two extremes? How are their owners thinking?

And how many times have you been to a restaurant that’s a bit too noisy? It feels like there are about thirteen to the dozen.

I’m fully convinced that they have much to gain by dropping the noise levels in their establishments. Not just to attract the older crowd with a taste for good wine, but also to create a better working environment with happier staff and fewer people calling in sick.

Now that I think about it, we old folks are the working environment’s Batman, but without the tights, since that would be counter-productive to our ends, with many guests immediately losing their appetites at the mere sight of us.

So my rallying cry is clear: Old people of the world unite! For we shall now march forth and fight the good fight against noise!

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The bald guy

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